The First Attempt

New Year? New beginning. let's try this.

I have wanted to try blogging for such a long time, but I have excused myself from it with words such as "I have nothing interesting to say" "I'm boring" "I can't get my words out" But I have finally given in. I am coming to realize that no one is boring. We all have a story and something extraordinary to say. My life has been anything but uneventful and boring. I will try my hardest to blog at least once a week-maybe more. We'll see what inspires me. I'm sure we'll get somewhere, maybe...hopefully. I hope this becomes an inspiration and help to you as I try and sort through my thoughts by writing them out. I'm sure I will learn a lot about myself as I do this, and my hope is that you will take something out of this, too. I'm willing to try to make this go somewhere. I can't always promise some beautifully, well-written, put together words. Sometimes it may just be my messy thoughts, but that's okay too. I hope you're ready. 

Changes

 I will start by saying that I have the best family, really. We all have our set of issues, just like any family. But they're family. Obviously, I am the youngest of three. Not being super close in age to my siblings was always difficult for me. It was hard and at times impossible for me to relate to them and naturally as the youngest, I was often the butt of most jokes and picked on, a lot of times I may have deserved it. I was not always easy to live with and sometimes this still applies. Any of my family members could tell you this firsthand. So, as I was saying. I hated being the youngest because my brother and sister moved out while I still had plenty of years of having to live at home. One thing to know about me is that I have an immensely difficult time dealing with changes and adjustments-possibly more than the average person. It takes me an incredibly long time and even then I can't always fully accept a change. This year has been a huge year for me because most of it has been change. In fact, this has been the most hectic, crazy, stressful, different year for me. But it has also been the most fun and I have been blessed and given so many opportunities. The first huge change was that after almost 5 years of not living at home, my sister moved back. Of course before it actually took place, I was ecstatic. I would finally have a sibling again and maybe get some of my youth back ( My mom thinks that living only with her and my dad made some of their old age rub off on me. HA) My mom warned me that having my sister back home might not be as glamorous as I was expecting, and that we would all have to work together to have the best experience we could. Take note of this because I don't say these things often..My mom was 120% accurate and then some. Her living here has been one of the most challenging experiences, for all of us. Each day she lived here, I realized that I had actually liked being the only child here. I think God is testing our family, and me personally. This is by far the biggest adjustment I have ever had thrown at me and more often than not I just want an escape. I always feel like I have reached my last straw and any inkling of patience that I had left. But this being the first time I have actually reflected on this experience, I realize that it is selfish of me to think I am the only one having a hard time with this. My sister spent last year teaching abroad in Honduras. I can't even imagine the emotions she went through- packing up everything and leaving the life she loved. I hope one day I can have the courage that has been so evident in her. It's selfish of me to act like I am the only one with a lot on my plate. We're all trying to get through this new life we have together, as well as balancing everything else going on in our own individual lives. This is how it's supposed to be right now. God wanted us together and there is something bigger in store for all of us. Pray for us as we continue to take it one day at a time. Pray that I may have the right attitude and be as positive as I possibly can, and that I won't go into everyday feeling bitter. I can do this. I know it.